How to play the business dating game

This article comes with a warning. So please ensure you have read the next paragraph before proceeding.

Networking is an important marketing activity for almost any start-up business but it can kill you. The reason: there are some well-meaning people who regularly attend such meetings and events and they possess a stealth-like ability to bore others to death.

Getting on with people is a very important skill in business. Entrepreneurial minds tend to be much more relaxed about meeting others for the first time and networking events are organised so that people can do just that.

Unfortunately, many people network with the wrong mindset – they focus on themselves and treat all the people they meet as potential customers. As a consequence rooms are dominated by people trying to sell to one another which can get rather dull. And once you’ve been talked at by more than one person on the subject of insurance, banking or image consultancy for example, you’ll notice that you’ve become quite defensive and your concentration levels are flagging. Boredom follows quickly…

Ideally, networking events would attract buyers and sellers in equal measure but it’s a very rare thing. However, this powerful equilibrium is demonstrated perfectly in the world of hitch hiking because the hiker and driver are equal in number and actively seek something from the other person. Typically the hitch hiker is seeking transport and offers companionship; meanwhile the driver is seeking companionship and offers transport.

One of the underpinning reasons why hitch hiking works is the fact that neither party expects to pay or receive money (I did once offer to pay a driver because I was so relieved to get a lift but he rightly refused – we got on like a house on fire). With no money changing hands there is no sense of expectation or failure. Everything is based on trust. People behave in a much more relaxed manner and are typically far more open and interested in the other person and their ideas.

So to play the business dating game effectively, you need to focus not just on what you offer but critically on what you can buy too. Such an open-minded approach requires you to question and listen (avoids boring) and means you find suppliers as well as clients.

Critically, being open minded also means you are able to discover creative ways to work in partnership with people. Rather than buying and selling from each other you can be innovative and work together to provide a fresh product or service to new markets that you had not previously considered. It doesn’t have to be complicated, it just requires you to look at what you both have, think laterally and be prepared to work together.

And if you can seek and forge effective partnerships, you will be very effective as well as popular on the business dating scene.

Key Learning Points: Networking is an important marketing activity but don’t fall into the trap of just telling people about what you do. Uncover new opportunities and partnerships by questioning, listening and keeping an open mind at all times.